Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
