as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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