In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
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