is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
