Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I love you. Go after that dick
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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