At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize