She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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