two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
