I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
