I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
