Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
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he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
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If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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