Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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