Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
