i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
This toilet bowl is my home.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
