Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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