guys are not supposed to queef...right?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
