this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
