So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
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I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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