Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
