butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you guys were way drunker than both of me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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