i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
