You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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