Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
