Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(518): View more from New York

I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.

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(903): View more from Texas

The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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(312): View more from Illinois

I cannot FaceTime with your penis

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(641): View more from Iowa

They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.

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(827): View more from

THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS

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