I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
