We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.