Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  3.50 mugs at the bar.

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.

  (512): View more from Texas

  How ugly, and does she have friends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): 3.50 mugs at the bar. (1-512): Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice. (512): How ugly, and does she have friends? http://tfl.nu/peow
  Replies (40) Good night (789) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog. http://tfl.nu/0zps
  Replies (10) Good night (815) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle. http://tfl.nu/i8jn
  Replies (35) Good night (4818) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  no, didnt close...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): no, didnt close... (978): What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic... http://tfl.nu/lkpf
  Replies (13) Good night (1148) Bad night (6245)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad. http://tfl.nu/4uh2
  Replies (16) Good night (5022) Bad night (1585)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards http://tfl.nu/ehov
  Replies (9) Good night (3545) Bad night (774)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?" http://tfl.nu/cr38
  Replies (12) Good night (4109) Bad night (1630)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised. http://tfl.nu/zjt1
  Replies (6) Good night (2464) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (240): Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence http://tfl.nu/zd2a
  Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender. http://tfl.nu/14lt
  Replies (1) Good night (494) Bad night (434)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight http://tfl.nu/x45a
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas? http://tfl.nu/j6a7
  Replies (1) Good night (563) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk? http://tfl.nu/o5je
  Replies (3) Good night (645) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS http://tfl.nu/3z8m
  Replies (1) Good night (544) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far. http://tfl.nu/c7mw
  Replies (2) Good night (408) Bad night (146)

Randomize