Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
