Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR

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  (412): my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR http://tfl.nu/zpxr
  Replies (4) Good night (943) Bad night (1027)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.

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  (610): Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it. http://tfl.nu/867y
  Replies (16) Good night (1803) Bad night (639)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.

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  (425): i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break. http://tfl.nu/5pkx
  Replies (21) Good night (3289) Bad night (711)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"

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  (352): I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W" http://tfl.nu/d9h9
  Replies (17) Good night (4346) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville

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  (647): Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville http://tfl.nu/omyo
  Replies (13) Good night (3229) Bad night (1140)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!

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  (317): My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA! http://tfl.nu/e6nv
  Replies (28) Good night (1702) Bad night (3907)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower

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  (614): He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower http://tfl.nu/xrd7
  Replies (4) Good night (2295) Bad night (862)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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  (401): votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big http://tfl.nu/248r
  Replies (15) Good night (2890) Bad night (905)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won

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  (651): So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won http://tfl.nu/y3ji
  Replies (5) Good night (777) Bad night (1607)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.

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  (785): Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage. http://tfl.nu/6qi6
  Replies (17) Good night (1349) Bad night (1897)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?

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  (716): I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest? http://tfl.nu/jsvy
  Replies (7) Good night (969) Bad night (659)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises

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  (410): I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises http://tfl.nu/f0t9
  Replies (3) Good night (720) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...

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  (603): Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life... http://tfl.nu/r8ks
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die

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  (585): My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die http://tfl.nu/girq
  Replies (2) Good night (668) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  pray to him

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK

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  (203): HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD (1-203): pray to him (203): I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK http://tfl.nu/pw7u
  Replies (2) Good night (461) Bad night (162)

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