Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

Fav 6 1331 3490
share tweet
(203): View more from Connecticut

so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same

Fav 19 6413 1305
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on

Fav 3 3179 1086
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

Fav 7 2609 1155
share tweet
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."

Fav 6 946 2646
share tweet
(604): View more from British Columbia

I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.

Fav 28 3339 913
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes

Fav 4 1411 834
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(252): View more from North Carolina

You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.

Fav 10 626 1398
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(801): View more from Utah

I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx

Fav 3 214 261
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT