Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"

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(208): She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it" http://tfl.nu/kuso

Replies (27) Good night (588) Bad night (4538)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.

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(402): I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/x618

Replies (49) Good night (5555) Bad night (817)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids

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(301): I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids http://tfl.nu/xnc7

Replies (19) Good night (6931) Bad night (926)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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(414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s

Replies (13) Good night (1367) Bad night (4076)
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(440): View more from Ohio

just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.

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(440): just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me. http://tfl.nu/8ykb

Replies (15) Good night (5181) Bad night (1029)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.

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(401): after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome. http://tfl.nu/gm5a

Replies (25) Good night (5778) Bad night (1308)
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(415): View more from California

Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?

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(415): Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it? http://tfl.nu/bvee

Replies (26) Good night (5864) Bad night (988)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.

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(404): Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy. http://tfl.nu/vwp7

Replies (14) Good night (4304) Bad night (1392)
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(360): View more from Washington

just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.

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(360): just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe. http://tfl.nu/xu32

Replies (6) Good night (2341) Bad night (943)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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(918): I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever. http://tfl.nu/j10b

Replies (14) Good night (708) Bad night (3669)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

(302): View more from Delaware

yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

(302): View more from Delaware

wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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(603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g

Replies (9) Good night (673) Bad night (328)
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(706): View more from Georgia

I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?

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(706): I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get? http://tfl.nu/m9m9

Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (272)
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(562): View more from California

I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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(562): I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!! http://tfl.nu/mwf9

Replies (3) Good night (730) Bad night (381)
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(386): View more from Florida

Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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(386): Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost. http://tfl.nu/901r

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (208)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while

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(519): I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while http://tfl.nu/0rg5

Replies (4) Good night (467) Bad night (222)

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