that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?