We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal