I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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