He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
