We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
