he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Two words: nipple clamps
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