I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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