the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
