16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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