Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.