Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame