he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"