guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
