Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
