Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize