Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
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I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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