Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
