This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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