Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
