I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize