woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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