We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
