Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
