With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
is it fun? or sober?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
