Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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