He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize