did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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