Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
