was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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