your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So drunk its hurt
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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