I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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