Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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