you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
