fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Less talking, more tequila
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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