I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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