It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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