weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
