one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
