I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
