her vagine was all disorganized.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize