you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
