She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
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We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sanitize my soul.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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